Love is sweet and very much true, but not every person you meet is someone you’d call “the one.” There are subtle yet important warning signs that can signal trouble in a relationship. While it’s true that every partnership has their ups and downs, some behaviors are what we call red flags. Today, we’ll uncover the 11 red flags to watch out for.
11. Moving Too Fast
Is your partner declaring their undying love for you after a dinners? Truly, it’s exciting to get someone to finally love you after the failed dates, but rushing into that relationship might not be a good idea. It may indicate a lack of interest in getting to know you and it may come with a desire to lock you down in a relationship. This will eventually lead to incompatibilities that are set for disappointment.
10. Lack of Accountability
If you notice your partner always playing the blame game, then they refuse to take responsibility. This shows through making excuses and shifting the blame to you or other people. It could also be their inability to apologize. A healthy relationship required both partners to be accountable for their actions. That’s an environment with mutual respect. You’ll never grow together without accountability.
9. Inconsistent Behavior
If you find your partner unpredictable, then that’s a hot and cold pattern. Imagine, they’re affectionate one moment and distant on the next. We hate to break it to you, but your partner is emotionally inconsistent as they’re always keeping you on edge while you’re seeking their approval. A stable relationship should be built on fpundation of consistent and reliable behavior.
8. Stonewalling
Stonewalling is when your partner refuses to communicate with you during disagreements. It’s not that they’re needing a timeout, but rather, a withdrawal from your problems together. This prevents the both of you to fix the problem and agree to a resolution which will slowly create emotional distance.
7. Triangulation
Are you in that situation where your partner brings in a third person in your problems or conversation for validation? That’s a manipulative tactic which we call as triangulation. This could also involve comparing you to others or using a friend or family to forward their messages. This could also be creating drama just to shift the focus. That removes the trust and intimacy in relationships.
6. Boundary Violations
When you feel that your no isn’t respected, then that’s a boundary violation. This could refer to small things like pressuring you to do something that isn’t comfortable. It could also refer to violations of your personal space, time, or emotional limits. For a relationship to work, you must first respect boundaries, as it also means that you’re respecting each other.
5. Future Faking
While it’s good that your partner is painting a future of you together, you may notice that their actions never match their words. Well, that’s future faking talking which is a kind of manipulation where a person makes a promise about the future to keep you hooked. However, there’s no intention of making those real. They’re keeping you invested in the relationship, even when your needs aren’t being met in the present.
4. Isolation
Does your partner (subtly) discourage you to spend time with your family and friends? That’s the classic case of isolation which shows that you have a controlling partner. They’ll make you feel guilty for making plans and create drama when you do. They can also move you to a new location away from your support system. That’s a tactic to make you more dependent on them which increases their power over you.
3. Intermittent Reinforcement
Are you in a relationship that makes you feel like riding on a rollercoaster of intense highs and lows? That’s intermittent reinforcement which is a psychological tool to keep you addicted to the relationship. That’s the unpredictable good time and bad times speaking which creates a trauma bond. It makes it difficult for you to leave in an unhealthy relationship.
2. Love Bombing
Do you feel like your partner is loving you (literally) obsessively? It is when they shower you with excessive affection, gifts, and attention, especially in the early stages of your relationship. Those overwhelming displays is making you feel indebted and dependent to them. Once you feel secured, that “love bomber” may transform to a controlling partner.
1. Contempt
That may be the predictor of divorce for married couples. It’s not criticism, but a sense of superiority and disgust. That contemtuous behavior includes sarcasm, name-calling, eye-rolling, and mockery, that’s disrespectful and extremely damaging to a relationship. Professional help is likely needed in these cases.